Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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