While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
