this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Randomize
