well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
sex in a hospital.. check
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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