The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
