i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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