i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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