I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
