I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
