are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Randomize
