your room smells of hookers.
And success
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
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