All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize