She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Randomize
