I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
