i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
you win again, gameday.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
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