I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Randomize
