hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
