but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
