I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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