Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
