what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
