***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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