Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
