Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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