my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
i think my cat just said my name.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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