OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
tequila makes me forget i have legs
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
BRING THE BAGELS
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize