That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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