Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
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