Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
