I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
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