This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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