It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
