Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
