you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Your cock deserves a montage
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Randomize
