maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize
