There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
