I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
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