he thought i was a dude.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I need water and some morals
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
