Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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