If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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