He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Randomize
