I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
