I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
