Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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