she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
