How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
