Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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