your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
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All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
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