Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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