Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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