I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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