when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
