Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I checked into jail on foursquare
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
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