think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
