oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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