i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Randomize
